Before I say anything, I just want to make 2 things quite clear:
- I’m very emotional. All the time. It doesn’t matter if I am happy or sad, I’m all-in man. I feel those feels.
- I try not to let my emotions control me. Really I do.
Okay, now that we’ve gotten that settled, let me let you know that this is an emotional post.
Last year, for my 22nd birthday, Tyler got me this real great little Q&A 5-year journal. Each day there is a question, and you record your answers for 5 years. I am almost actually really good about keeping up with it, too!
When my birthday came around this year, I entered year 2 of the journal. Each time I write an entry, I can see the previous year’s response as well. And let me tell you… last year at this time, I was in a rough place.
We were in transition, having recently changed our life plans entirely and being about 500 miles northeast from where we thought we would be. We were both working temporary “summer” jobs with no guarantee that they would last. We had been out of school for about 6 months and the student debt beast had raised its ugly head, letting us know that 500 miles is no feat for debt, and it will find you. In November, Tyler lost his job. For 2.5 months, we lived off of the paycheck for one, temporary, low-paying job. We dug into the savings we had thankfully built off of wedding money, and we (by the grace of God and the help of loving family and friends) made it through. Meanwhile, however, we both felt caught. Tyler was jobless, and I was working what was supposed to be a temporary customer service job that could end at any point, with a degree in my hand that really felt more like a mocking piece of paper than an accomplishment to display. As I look through my previous answers in my journal, this is the common theme:
November 8 Q: What topic are you bored talking about? A: “Do you have a job yet?” “have you checked indeed? “what about the county websites?”
December 10 Q: What surprised you today? A: I guess it shouldn’t have been a surprise, but I didn’t get the job…
December 12 Q: What’s on your wish list? A: a job. seriously.
December 14: Q: Why are you impressive? A: According to employers, I’m not. 😉
Get the picture? I was in a great mood. 😉 hahaha. But FYI, here are a few things that happened since then:
- They kept me on at my temp job, all the way through the slow season. I even got a minor promotion and raise!
- In February, Tyler got a job. The hours are rough, but he loves what he does. We got insurance. We were able to get on our feet and start budgeting.
- In May, in a whirlwind weekend, I was offered a part-time job with the potential for growth.
- In August-ish, I was offered a full-time position with that company, and though it would involve moving about 2 hours away, it came with a raise and a chance to actually use my degree! Despite many people telling us we were fools not to jump at the opportunity, we eventually came to the decision to turn the offer down. Although it wasn’t a far move, it would’ve meant the start of another job hunt for Tyler, moving (ugh), leaving family… and honestly, at the end of the day we said, “If we’re not 100% behind this, and we don’t feel like God is telling us to go, and with the extra expenses it doesn’t even seem like a financial gain… why are we doing it?” We stayed.
- In late October/early November, I was recommended to the Accounting department at my temp job and started temping in their department instead, getting the chance to use my degree!
- In December, I was asked to apply to the full-time position in that same department, that I “didn’t qualify for”. Ultimately, I was offered the position and accepted!
Can I just tell you? God is good. A year ago, I started doubting things could ever get better. Nothing made sense. I was going to be stuck for the rest of my life. We kept pushing forward though and let me say, I feel like I’m living an entirely different life now! A year ago, if you asked me if I’d move to Rochester for a job, I would’ve said yes. A year ago, if you had asked me if I could stay home alone while my husband worked nights, I would have been hesitant. A year ago, if you had asked me if my temporary customer service job was going anywhere, I would’ve laughed.
The thing is… God knows where we’re going. He knows that the circumstances we’re in are only temporary. He knows what’s around the corner. He knows He has great plans. For goodness sake, next time things feel hopeless, like they’ll never improve, and I’m feeling terrified at the prospect of whatever is coming… remind me. Remind me that He has been faithful before. Remind me that there’s no reason to keep grabbing at the sand falling through my fingers- it’s not even mine to hold. He’s got it covered.
2015 is just about over. 2016 starts tomorrow, and with it comes magic. Not because it will suddenly be easy or better or more clear… but because every new year, every single new morning, is a reminder that there is hope. You never know what this day will bring. Choose to face it with a hope fueled by what you know- He is faithful. He was faithful before, He’ll be faithful again. Put your faith in the only One who already knows the troubles, joys, challenges, and excitement that you’ll face in 2016.